Try this :

if(Mage::getSingleton('customer/session')->isLoggedIn()){
   $layout->getUpdate()->addHandle('customer_logged_in');
}else{
   $layout->getUpdate()->addHandle('customer_logged_out');
}

First check if user logged in or not then add log in/log out to your header :
use the following code:

if(Mage::getSingleton('customer/session')->isLoggedIn()){
   $layout->getUpdate()->addHandle('customer_logged_in');
}else{
   $layout->getUpdate()->addHandle('customer_logged_out');
}