2 days later and a few broken themes and installs later finally figured it out..
To make this easier I suggest having one install with sample data and a separate one without, so it will be easier to copy things from sample data install to your current site
- Install a custom theme with luma being the parent, which means in your theme.xml you should have:
<parent>Magento/luma</parent>
Details: https://devdocs.magento.com/guides/v2.3/frontend-dev-guide/themes/theme-create.html
- From sample data install copy the content of
vendor/magento/module-cms-sample-data/fixtures/styles.css
Which contains the CSS that makes the homepage look like in the sample data, then paste it into your custom theme's folder and register it inside the .xml file. See Ben Cook's reply here: https://magento.stackexchange.com/a/237680/83449
The custom .css file should end up in a folder like
app/design/frontend/[THEME VENDOR]/[THEME]/web/css/[CSS FILE].css
Copy the images from sample data site and put them in **pub/media/wysiwyg/home/**and /pub/media/ folders (when you're downloading the images you'll see where they should go). Example you should end up with /pub/media/wysiwyg/home/home-erin.jpg and other files from sample data
From sample data magento install copy the markup from content > blocks > homepage, now go to your fresh install and paste it into content > pages > homepage
Sample markup snippet:
<div class="blocks-promo"><a class="block-promo home-main" href="
You're done